Constructing a building requires careful preparation. Before the foundation is laid, land must be acquire and plans drawn up. However somthing else is vital. Jesus said : Who of you wants to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense, to see if he was enough to complete it?" - Luke 14:28
What is true of constructing a building also applies to constructing a successful marriage. Many says : I want to get married." But how many stop to consider the cost? While the bible speaks favourable of marriage, it also draws attention to the challenges that marriage presents. (Proverbs 18:22 : 1 Corinthians 7:28) Therefore, those contemplating marriage need to have a realistic view of both the blessings and the costs of being married.
The Bible can help. Its counsel is inspired by the Originator of marriage. Jehovah God. (Ephesians 3:14, 15:2 Timothy 3:16) Using the principles found in this ancient yet very up-to-date guidebook, let us determine (1) How can a person tell whether he or she is ready for marriage? (2) What should be looked for in a mate? and (3) How can courtship be kept honorable?
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
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Constructing a building may be expensive, but caring for its long-term maintenance is costly as well. It is similar with marriage. Getting married seems challenging enough; however, maintaining a marital relationship year after year must also be considered. What does maintaining such a relationship entail? A vital factor is a wholehearted commitment. Here is how the Bible describes the marriage relationship: "A man will leave his fatehr and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) Jesus Christ gave the only Scriptural basis for divorce with the possibility of remarriage - "forcination,: thast is, illicit sex relations outside the marriage. (Matthew 19:9) If you are comtemplating marriage, bear these Scriptural standards in mind. If you are not ready for this solemn commitment, then you are not ready for marriage. - Deuteronomy 23:21 : Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5.
The idea of solemn commitment frightens many. "Knowing that the two of us were stuck together for life make me feel pushed into a corner, closed in, totally confined," confessed one young man. But if you really love the person you intend to marry, commitment will not seem like a burden. Instead, it will be viewed as a source of security. The sense of commitment implied in marriage will make a couple want to stay together through good times and bad and to be supportive of each other come what may. The Christiansapostle Paul wrote that true love "bears all things" and "endures all things".(1 Corinthians 13:7,7) "The commitment of marriage makes me feel more secure," says one women. " I love the comfort of having admitted to ourselves and the world that we intend to stick together". - Ecclesiasted 4:9-12
Living up to such commitment requires manturity. Thus, Paul counsels that Christians do better not marry until they are "past the bloom of youth" the period when sexual feelings run strong and can also distort ones judgement. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Young people change rapidly as they grow up. Many who marry when they are young find that after just a few years their needs and desires, as well as those of their mate, have changed. Statistics reveal that teenagers who marry are much more likely to be unhappy and seek divorce than those who wait a little longer. So do not rush into marriage. Some years spent living as a young single adult can give you precious experience that will make you more mature and better qualified to be a suitable mate. Waiting to get married can also help you to understand yourself better - a necessity if you are to develope a successful relationship in your marriage.
KNOW YOURSELF FIRST
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Do you find it easy to list qualities you want in a mate? Most do. However, what about your own qualities? What traits do you have that will help you contribute to a successful marriage? What type of husband or wife will you be? For example, do you freely admit your mistakes and accept adivice, or are you always defensive when corrected? Are you generally cheerful and optimistic, or do you tend to be gloomy, frequently complaining? (Proverbs 8:33, 15:15) Remember, marriage will not change your personality. If you are proud, oversensative, or overly pessimistic when single, you will be the same when married. Since it is difficult to see ourselves the way other see us, why not ask a parent or a trusted friend for frank comments and suggestions? If you learn changes that could be made, work on these before taking steps to marry.
The Bible encourage us to let God's holy spirit work in us, producing such as "Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control." It also tells us to "be made new personality which was created according to Gods will in true righteousness and loyalty." (Gallations 5:22,23; Ephesians 4:23,24) Applying this counsel while you are still single will be like depositing money in bank - something will prove very valuable in the futurem when you do marry.
For example, if you are a women, learn to pay more attention to "the secret person of the heart" then you do to your physical appearance. (1 Peter 3:3, 4)Modesty and soundness of mind will help you to have wisdom, a true "crown of beauty" (Proverbs 4:9; 31:10; 30:1; 1 Timothy 2:9,10) If you are a man, learn to treat women in a kind and respectful way. (1 Timothy 5:1,2) While learning to make decisions and shoulder responsibility, learn also to be modest and humble. A domineering attitude will lead to trouble in marriage. - Proverbs 29:23; Micah 6:8; Ephesians 5:28,29.
Although making the mind over these areas is not easy, it is something all Christians should work on. And it will help you to be a better marriage partner.
WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A MATE
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It is customary where you live for a person to choose his or her own marriage mate? If so, how should you proceed if you find someone of the opposite sex attractive? First ask yourself, "Is marriage really my intention?" It is cruel to play with another person's emotions by raising false expectations. (Proverbs 13:12) Then ask yourself, "Am I in a position to get married?' If the answer to both questions is positive, the steps you take next will vary depending on local custom. In some lands, after observating for a while, you might approach the person to express a desire to get better acquainted.If response is negative, do not persist to the point of being objectionable. Remember, the other person also has the right to make a decision in the matter. If, however, the response is positive, you may arrange to spend time together in wholesome activities. This will give you an opportunity to see whether marriage to this person would be wise." What should you look for at this stage?
To answer that question, imagine two musical instruments, perhaps a piano and guitar. If they are correctly tuned, either one can produce beautiful solo music. Yet, what happens if these instruments are played together? Now they must be in tune with each other. It is similar with you and a prospect mate. Each of you may have worked hard to "tune" your personality traits as individuals. But the question now is : Are you in tune with each other? In other words, are you compatible?
It is important that both of you have common beliefs principles. The apostle Paul wrote: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers." (2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39) Marriage to someone who does not share your faith in God makes it more likely that there will be severe disharmony. On the other hand, a mutual devotion to Jehovah God is the strongest basis for unity. Jehovah wants you to be happy and to enjoy the closest possible bond with the person you marry. He wants you to be bound to Him and to each other by a threefold bond of love. - Ecclesiastes 4:12.
While worshipping God together is the most important aspect of unity, more is involved. To be attuned to each other, you and your prospective mate should have similar goals. What are your goals? For example, how do you both feel about having children? What things have the first place in your life? (Matthew 6:33) In a truly successful marriage, the couple are good friends and enjoy each other company. (Proverbs 17:17) For this, they need to have interest in common. It is difficult to sustain a close friendship - much less a marriage - when this is not the case. Still, If your prospective partner enjoys particular activity, such as hiking, and you do not, does that mean that the two of you should not get married? Not necessarily. Perhaps you share other, more important interest. Moreover, you might give happiness to your prospective partner by sharing in wholesome activities because the other person enjoys them. -Acts 20:35
Indeed, to a large degree, compatibility is determined by how adaptable both of you are rather then how identical you are. Instead of asking, "Do we agree on everything?" some better questions might be: " What happens when we disagree? Can we discuss matters calmly, according each other respect and dignity? Or do discussions often deteriorate into heated arguements?" (Ephesians 4:29,31) If you want to get married, be wary of anyone who is proud and opinionated, never willing to compromise, or who constantly demands and schemes to have his or her own way.
FIND OUT BEFOREHAND
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In the Christians congregation, those who are entrusted with responsibility are to be "tested as to fitness first". (1 Timothy 3:10) You too can employ this principle. For example, a women might ask " What kind of reputation does this man have? Who are his friends? Does he display self-control? How does he treat elderly person? What kind of family does he came from? How does he interact with them? What is his attitude toward money? Does he abuse alcoholic beverages? Is he temperamental, even violent? What congregation responsibility does he have, and how does he handle them? Could i deeply respect him? - Leviticus 19:31; Proverbs 22:29; 31:23; Ephesians 5:3-5, 33; 1 Timothy 5:8, 6:10; Titus 2:6,7
A man might ask, "Does this women display love and respect for God? Is she capable of caring for a home? What will her family expect of us? Is she wise, industrious, thrifty? What does she talk about? Is she genuinely concerned about the welfare of others, or is she self centered, a busy body? Is she trustworthy? Is she willing to submit headship, or is she stubborn, perhaps even rebellious?" - Proverbs 31:10-31; Like 6:45; Ephesians 5:22,23; 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Peter 4:15.
Do not forget that you are dealing with an imperfect descendant of Adam, not some idealized hero or heroine out of some romance novel. Everyone has shortcomings, and some of these of yout prospective partner.(Romans 3:23; James 3:2) Further, a perceived weakness can present an opportunity to grow. For example, suppose during your courtship you have an arguement. Consider: Even people who love and respect each other disagree at times. (Compare Genesis 30:2; Acts 15:39)Could it be that both of you simply need to "restrain you spirit" a little more and learn how to settle matters more peacefully? (Proverbs 25:28) Does your prospective mate show a desire to improve? Do you? Could you learn to be less sensative, less touchy? (Ecclesiates 7:9) Learning to resolve problems can establish a pattern of honest communication that is essential if the two of you do get married. - Collosians 3:13
What through, if you notice things that trouble you deeply? Such doubts should be considered carefully. However romantic you may feel or how ever anxious you may be to get married, do not close your eyes to serious faults. (Proverbs 22:3 ; Ecclesiastes 2:14)
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Haha.. Ken inside this article maybe there is wrong spelling.. Yuri type it out.. sorry if there is wrong spelling ^^
After yuri have read and understand this article, yuri in heart and mind also think of one thing... Yuri promise ken that i will be a good wife to you. My promise is forever to ken like Ruth saying to Naomi ^^
My promise also : If Ken is Rich, Yuri is Rich With Ken
If Ken is Poor, Yuri will Be Poor With Ken
If Ken is Sick, Yuri will not leave Ken and will stay with ken forever through good or bad times together.
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